Chapter 244: The Wolf is unsure
The sultry night air came in through the open windows, rustling the ends of the closed canopy around the bed and the hems of Chu Yun\'s thin robes. The warm glow of candlelight threw Chu Yun\'s features into sharp relief, Xiao Zai\'s eyes were immediately drawn to the ways the robes clung to his skin.
Chu Yun noticed his distraction with an amused smirk, and set the scroll to the side with a pointed look.
"Uh, no, I went to see A-Xiang," Xiao Zai said, clearing his throat.
"Oh, I thought you\'d want to straighten things out with him."
Maybe one day Xiao Zai would want to clear the air. Maybe one day he\'d stop feeling furious whenever he thought about what his dam had done -- but while that day didn\'t come, the only thing he could do was assure his sister that he hadn\'t forgotten about her just because he was King, or because things were strained between him and Gu Wei.
Perhaps Chu Yun saw all of that written on his face, because his smirk turned into a genuine smile as he patted the empty space next to him.
Xiao Zai disrobed quickly, leaving his fine golden outer robes over the anger, and toeing his socks off as he walked to the bed. Chu Yun pulled him against his check with a hand wrapped tight around the collar of his inner robes, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"I missed you," he said, just before bringing his lips against Xiao Zai\'s in a breathless kiss. "I feel like we\'ve done nothing but flee from one crisis into another."
Xiao Zai felt the same way, their days seemed dedicated to preventing the next disaster ever since he became King. He had never thought it would be easy, but he wanted to know when the ground would finally feel steady under his feet. He didn\'t think he could endure the feeling of seasickness for the rest of his life.
There had to be an end to it.
Sighing deeply, he buried his head into the crook of Chu Yun\'s neck and inhaled deeply. Chu Yun ran his fingers down the back of his head, draping his other arm across Xiao Zai\'s back. "How was A-Xiang?"
"She is well, excited to be an aunt," Xiao Zai said, feeling some trepidation at bringing up the cause of his present anxiety.
Chu Yun hummed and after a moment said, "it won\'t be long now."
His voice was steady, but Xiao Zai didn\'t think he was imagining the tone of apprehension. "Are you worri-"
Before he could finish his question, Chu Yun let out a growl and flipped him onto his back, climbing atop his lap with surprising grace. "What I am is another thing entirely."
He ground his ass down against Xiao Zai\'s lap with a deliberate roll of his hips. Xiao Zai almost got dizzy with the sudden pang of arousal.
Chu Yun looked irresistible perched on top of him like that, his long hair streaming down his back and the thin robes clinging to the sharp angles of his body, broken only by the prominent curve of his abdomen.
It was the sight of it that made Xiao Zai\'s frantic hands still in the process of rucking Chu Yun\'s robes up his legs.
"What\'s wrong?" Chu Yun asked, noticing the change in Xiao Zai\'s demeanour.
Xiao Zai considered his words carefully. "Like you said, \'it won\'t be long now\', maybe it isn\'t a good idea."
Chu Yun scoffed, leaning back on Xiao Zai\'s thighs. "What does that have to do with anything? I feel fine." His tone was dismissive, but he wasn\'t meeting Xiao Zai\'s eyes and his upper canine and incisor were digging deeply into his bottom lip.
Chu Yun was apprehensive too, but trying to distract himself from it.
"It worries me, not just the pregnancy, the birth, our child being born in the middle of all this uncertainty," Xiao Zai said.
Chu Yun nodded, his eyelashes fluttering down over his eyes. "It worries me too. I didn\'t anticipate Ru Long\'s attack during the games, what if he does something else I can\'t predict?"
"Stop that," Xiao Zai said, gripping Chu Yun\'s arm and tugging him down until he understood his intentions and lowered himself down on top of Xiao Zai. "You can\'t worry over something like that. How can you predict his every move? Or anyone\'s?"
Chu Yun stetted against his chest with a muffled curse, that could have been something like \'past behaviour informing future behaviour\' or something of that sort -- the kind of thing he had told Xiao Zai often.
It wasn\'t that Xiao Zai didn\'t think he was right, but, "sometimes I think you buy into your own mythology too much. You are only one man, albeit a very troublesome one."
Chu Yun chuckled, and finally relaxed fully against Xiao Zai\'s body, sliding down towards the bed so that he wasn\'t lying fully on top of him.
"It would have been easier that way, wouldn\'t it? If that whole thing about the two of us being blessed by the gods with our own unlikely miracle had been true..."
Xiao Zai went very quiet. He knew that Chu Yun had never believed it, unlike him. It wasn\'t being beloved by the gods that moved him, but Xiao Zai was enamoured with the idea of him and Chu Yun being fated by the Heavens; meant to be, like the rain and the earth, the moon and the tides.
Soulbonds.
What would happen if he marked Chu Yun? Would it confirm that even without their blessing from the gods Xiao Zai was right and they were fated mates? Or would everything remain exactly the same?
Would it change anything?
He didn\'t even notice the direction his thoughts had taken him until he realised he\'d been running his fingers over the unmarked patch of skin on Chu Yun\'s nape.
"You know, I\'ve been thinking that I want--" Chu Yun mumbled, oddly uncertain.
Xiao Zai\'s fingers went very still.
He knew what Chu Yun was going to say, he just didn\'t know how he was going to reject him without hurting his feelings.