Beware Of Chicken

Vajra had to keep herself from breaking into an undignified dance as she organized her troops. Her eyes were everywhere. Her body was everywhere. She was once again a War Princess, with legions at her beck and call, ready to impose her will on the world. From the bare hundreds of last year, now she commanded tens of thousands.

Her main fortress was a magnificent thing, with its tapestries of grass and endless cells of golden honey arranged by what type of flower and tree it was taken from. It was beautiful and perfect—and ready for the Emperor to have his tribute whenever he pleased.

Her Trueborn Warriors flew at the head of the formations of their lessers, smiting the beasts that dared to try and consume the Qi-less serfs and laying claim to anything and everything they could. Where the heady Qi of the land resided, so too did Vajra’s dominion. From the raging waterfalls of the Great River to the Mushroom Forest; from the Green Sea Meadows on the hills to the Deepwoods. She had even followed the Stone Trail to another hive of humans—one of the Emperor’s outposts, most assuredly, for it had new fortresses ready and waiting for her to take command of.

It was glorious, utterly glorious—and in addition to the fortresses at the Lesser Hive, the Emperor had seen it fit to reward Vajra with an even bigger and more secure main fortress! This year, Vajra the Booze Master’s prowess would once more fall from the Emperor’s lips, and he would once more reward her for her meritorious contributions!

Ah, she could not wait. But in order to be rewarded, she would have to assemble a mighty tribute. If this was in her old lands, it would have been impossible to get such high quality honey year after year. But here? The resources were of even higher quality than last year. The Land was actively improving. Vajra knew that such a thing was impossible—any spot of Qi she had found previously swiftly dried up.

But the Emperor was the Emperor, and his presence was a wellspring from which a bounty poured unending. As expected of the man who had conquered death. Everything about him was perfection.

She extended her senses through a scout that was perched in the window of the bathhouse.

‘Indeed, everything was perfection,’ she buzzed to herself as she looked at the man through the barrier.

Especially his chest. And his forearms. With water running off them and flushed skin from the heat of the steam—heavens, she loved baths. Though they could use some improvement—like Vajra and her attendants grooming the man, licking off all the water on his body…

Vajra buzzed happily to herself, an action mimicked by the rest of her hive as she graciously allowed them to view the image of the resplendent Emperor… and his male servant.

Both were quite fine specimens.

Though, it was too bad the beautiful Bi De had left. The Emperor had obviously commanded his servants to lay claim to new lands for him, and his servants were even now off conquering in his name. It was unfortunate that Vajra couldn't follow him, but she had her duties here.

With the depletion of the guard, however, came the opportunity for more merits. While Mighty Chun Ke and the Pink Maid were acceptable guards, the Prince of the Emperor was left alone more often then he had been. This was unacceptable, of course. The rebels and their black lances had returned in force, feeding on whatever lifeforce they could—though now the beasts grew wily. Instead of gathering in teeming swarms they came and went in small groups. Gurellias, instead of warriors, and they tried their damnedest to sneak through Vajra’s cordon.

Vajra herself had few feelings for the Prince, but to allow him to come to harm under her watch was unacceptable!

Thus she had assigned him guards, to keep him company when others were distracted with their own duties. He was never alone for more than a few minutes, when it came time for his rest, but any gap in the guard was rectified. Thus did Vajra attempt to curry more favour with the Emperor.

It was… a bit slow going. The Emperor disliked Vajra’s soldiers buzzing too closely to the Prince and had shooed them away gently. Vajra had been confused, until she had noticed the Prince's annoyance with the buzzing as well. So Vajra had simply told her soldiers to wait, hidden in the blankets, and to be ready to smite those who raise their blades against the rightful ruler of this place.

She wiggled her rear in self-satisfaction. She would most certainly be praised!

Vajra was in a good mood as she directed her logistics trains and her scouts—her scouts were still forging south, looking for any activity of the Flying Demons which had destroyed her last home. Others began heading north, trying to find the extent of their range, when suddenly one of the scouts alerted her to something out of the ordinary.

Extending her senses, Vajra took over the drone. Her drone had found a rundown and abandoned human hive, which she found to be filled with metal stingers, bowls, and—after a bit of searching—barrels of pickled and salted fish. Some of them were rotten, but others still smelled fine. It was an interesting place, and thus she marked it on her mental map. Perhaps she would build an outpost there?

But the Empress’ work was never done. As soon as she received the scout’s report there was another pulse of Qi, this time from one of the Prince’s bodyguards. The Bane of the Black Lances was confused and requested guidance. It wasn’t particularly urgent—but any amount of concern for the Prince should likely be dealt with swiftly, and so Vajra once more extended her senses.

Vajra paused at the wet, slimy sensation that was being inflicted on the bodyguard, her most elite soldier. The hells was going on? The Bane of the Black Lances was mildly distressed, but unharmed because they were….

The tongue that was licking the guard pulled back. Oh, that was all. There was a bit of dignity lost, but the Prince would do as he willed; and that included grasping one of his guards in his hand and slobbering all over her. So tyrannical and domineering already, claiming his guard so! He was obviously the fruit of the Emperor’s loins!

The Prince once more decided that his bodyguard needed to be washed, and Vajra allowed it. It was the Prince. Princes and Young Masters did as they pleased. He currently could not harm his bodyguard, and if he tried to eat her, she had Vajra’s permission to escape.

She was about to return to herself when there was a spike of Qi. The Emperor’s Qi. It was disturbed and panicked—Vajra immediately summoned the full muster of her soldiers, for whatever might provoke the vastness and heaviness of his presence was not to be taken lightly.

Was there some manner of intruder?! Vajra would slay it utterly! She turned the bodyguard’s head to gaze at the Emperor, to see where he was directing his ire… but, to Vajra’s surprise, he was staring at her— or rather, her soldier, clasped in a chubby fist with a tongue running through her fur. The Bane of the Black Lances remained stoic.

The Qi spiked as suddenly the Emperor was there. Chubby hands were gently and swiftly pried open, and the Bane of the Black Lances was rescued by the Emperor. His breathing was deep as he held the Bane, his eyes darting all over the Prince, before he let out a mighty sigh, one that shook slightly. The Prince blinked, and a moment later he began to tear up at his servant being taken by the Emperor.

“That could have been really, really bad,” the man stated, his voice flat and blank, before he turned back to the Bane, his chest heaving up as he took a shaky breath. “Thank you for not stinging him.”

Vajra recoiled in shock. He was worried about her loyalties? He had considered that she would raise her stinger in rebellion?!

Vajra immediately had the Bane begin the dance of supplication, kowtowing a thousand times before the Emperor for having doubt in her.

The Prince began to wail.

At first, Vajra thought her soldier was to be slain for insulting the Emperor. But instead, the Bane was given some of the Lord’s most potent elixir, the Maple Syrup, and he allowed her soldier to return to the hive.

Truly, he was a most beneficent Emperor! She would have to redouble her efforts to curry his favour!

You know what really gets the ol’ heart beating like a vole on crack?

Walking in on your four month old son licking a two inch long bee. I had no idea how he even grabbed the thing, but he was stuffing a fucking bee in his mouth when I got to him. Thank the heavens it hadn’t stung him, but Vajra’s girls had always been surprisingly docile.

It still nearly made me shit my pants. Meimei had been worried when I told her the story, but afterwards… well, it was a bit funny.

But hells, I leave him alone to sleep for a minute and this happens! I let the docile bee go and gave it some maple syrup before returning to my son. He’d need a damn mosquito net or something…

But sheesh. I guess having bees had the big downside of the fact that they get everywhere. And whatever kind of bee Varja and her brood were, they were crazy escape artists. Or not really escape artists, but incompetent cat burglars who could get into any place but then got stuck and couldn’t get back out again.

I’d lost count of how many bees I’d saved after getting stuck in the bathhouse. Hells, one of them had even landed and started drinking water off me yesterday…