The Best Director

On a sunny and warm morning, next to the shedding phoenix tree on the lawn, a white Labrador sniffed around in a pile of leaves. Wang Yang, dressed in sportswear, hadn’t finished his sentence when he suddenly closed in on Jessica, who was tying her ponytail, and said, “But this kind of close-range fighting, is it asking to be hit? No, we get close not to let others hit us, but to hit them.”

Jessica nodded seriously, as today was her first day learning practical fighting techniques. She asked hesitatingly, “So, you mean when breaking through the door, it’s easy to get hit.” Wang Yang smiled, slowly threw a few punches, and said, “Of course, the one who initiates the attack is always the most likely to expose their weaknesses. So even when attacking, we always use one hand for defense. Come on, throw a punch at me, a straight punch.”

“OK!” Jessica took a deep breath with exaggerated seriousness, swung her arms left and right a few times before suddenly stepping on the leaves, and “whoosh,” her right fist swung forward. Wang Yang didn’t dodge but caught her right forearm with his left hand while quickly saying, “When his punch comes in, you just grab his forearm like this, and then you have a lot of options, which are the so-called eight methods!”

No sooner had he finished speaking than Wang Yang’s right fist quickly floated up, striking below her throat and chin, causing her head to tilt back, “Sky Cannon to his chin; or grab his throat and squeeze, Vermillion Bird!” Jessica coughed lightly, and before she knew it, Wang Yang had retracted his fist and swung out again, pushing her face with his right palm as if to press down, then his elbow swept down to hit her soft chest. Regaining her face with his right palm again, he said, “Push the face, strike the chest, gouge the eyes, Mountain Climbing Tiger, Life-threatening Door!”

After retracting his fists again, he tripped her foot with his, then punched toward her abdomen and pushed with his left hand, saying, “Make him fall to the ground, Open the Door Left and Right!”

Jessica almost fell backward onto the ground, but Wang Yang quickly caught her. Wrapped in his arms, Jessica exclaimed with shining eyes and excitement mixed with starstruck adoration, “Wow, so cool, why haven’t I seen you use these before?”

“What? Fighting?” Wang Yang kissed her on the lips, stood back up, and said with a laugh, “When I fight with people who don’t know how to fight, I just go easy. If I fought like this now, I don’t know how many times I’d end up in jail, maybe even killed someone.” Jessica also straightened her right fist, eager to learn, “So cocky, Master, I also want to speak with my fists!”

“I’m not really,” Wang Yang smiled, grabbed her arm, and said seriously, “But remember, techniques and moves aren’t everything. In a real fight, you have to consider your own condition and that of your opponent! With your strength, for instance, you can’t stop the punches of those big guys, so…”

He let go of her arm, blocked with his left hand, dodged with a bow step and waist bend, his right hand gently tapped her groin, saying, “Put all your strength into this punch; if the guy is male, you can grab that thing and twist and squeeze till it bursts… Deadly Door!”

“Ew!” Jessica frowned in disgust, laughing as she asked, “Are there other moves? I don’t want to grab that part of other people.” Wang Yang shrugged and said with a smile, “Okay, let’s teach you something else, this move is called Sky Cannon…”

After another half-hour of practice with laughter, they concluded today’s lesson. After showering and changing, they drove off to go shopping and prepare for the approaching Christmas.

Outside, on the street beside the trees in the public areas, the legitimate workplace of paparazzi, Anderson, in his camouflage photography vest, had just started his shift when he saw the hustle in front of him and instantly felt irritated—two more guys! And they had taken his photography spot.

“Hey, man, that’s my spot!” Anderson, carrying a telephoto camera and lugging all his photography gear including a tripod, strode over. He pointed to the ground, addressing the bearded Caucasian man in a forceful tone, “This place is mine, I’m always here every day!”

The muscular blond man in a baseball cap glanced at him with contempt and growled, “Who are you? You looking for a fistfight? Whoever comes early gets the spot, so beat it!” The surrounding paparazzi laughed and interjected mockingly, “Hit him!” “Anderson, I’ve told you about him, the guy has no manners!” “I’m all for first-come, first-served.”…

Damn it! Anderson was so pissed that he stood there, hands on hips, sizing up the burly guy. After thinking it over, he walked away begrudgingly. It was nearly Christmas, and he didn’t want any trouble! Finding a slightly askew place nearby, Anderson set up his tripod and camera and looked yearningly at the country-style mansion on the other side, heaving a sigh—the angle was all wrong, the photos wouldn’t be as good, and the price would be lower!

He glanced at his colleagues around him, chatting and keeping a keen eye on their target, also his rivals, their number now exceeding 25! Naturally, because Magician Yang had another movie release—a red-hot blockbuster, “The Hangover” raked in over 50 million in three days, setting the record for the best opening for an R-rated comedy. Plus, next week the Golden Globe nominations would be announced, and Magician Yang’s online search volume was skyrocketing, as was his popularity…

Right now, news and street photography of Best Director were valuable, websites, newspapers, magazines were all keen to buy, he was one of the most popular figures!

“Little greenhorn, better off photographing other directors, like Martin Scorsese, haha!” The blond muscular man, seemingly bored, began to provoke with a laugh. Anderson’s temper flared up, rolling up his sleeves, he cursed, “Fuck you, MAN! You wanna fight? Do you frickin’ know who took that photo of Magician Yang practicing Kung Fu on the beach? Me! When it comes to photographing Magician Yang, you’re nowhere close, son of a bitch!”

“Hit him, hit him!” The crowd around them cheered, whistling and swinging their fists, “Give him some Christmas presents!” But after a few hard stares, neither of them really threw a punch. In their line of work, such squabbles were nearly a daily occurrence; unless there was some exclusive scoop to fight over, no one wanted to cause a scene.

“`

Why not go take photos of other directors? Martin Scorsese? Anderson sneered and looked down to adjust the focus of his camera lens. Even though Martin Scorsese was a hot favorite for Best Director at this year’s Golden Globe Awards, who would be interested in street snaps of an old guy? Unless that old guy was streaking! What fans wanted was a handsome and rugged idol director, a magical director like none before!

Now, street snaps of the Magical Yang were the most valuable among directors; and often, you would get shots of that Sweetheart beauty too, as if it were a buy-one-get-one deal, especially since couple photos were always more popular. Go elsewhere? Who would be that stupid?!

As Anderson was pondering this, he suddenly saw a black Hummer H2 slowly drive out, he cursed hurriedly, and grabbed the walkie-talkie at his waist, informing his cooperating companions, “They’re coming out, Yang’s car, the Hummer! Hurry up and follow!” A deep voice came from the other end, “Roger!”

The paparazzi all grabbed their walkie-talkies, cellphones, and other communication tools, a black man wearing a red vest hurried over to the walkie-talkie, “The Hummer, don’t let them get away!” A blonde muscular man said into his cell phone, “They might be going shopping, this is a great chance! Shopping photos are worth a lot right now!” A skinny Hispanic youth commented, “Hummer H2, looks like they’re going to buy a Christmas tree, don’t lose them!”…

The mall was full of Christmas decorations, with green Christmas trees hung with colorful lights, Santa Clauses and reindeer in red suits, and ornaments like ribbons and bells. Customers strolled happily, carrying one or two bags of purchased goods in their hands.

On the slowly moving escalator, patrons came and went on the descending side. Jessica, dressed in a light blue denim suit, gave Wang Yang a pat and smiled, “Yang, look at me.” She interlaced her fingers over her chest and belly, slightly tilted her head, and put on a silly expression with her eyes fixed. Wang Yang burst into laughter, “Wow, you should play Alan!” He too struck a serious pose, holding his arms,

To the light-hearted music of the mall, the escalator descended to the ground floor. The two exchanged smiles and walked toward a shop that sold Christmas decorations and clothing, having browsed through several stores without buying much.

“This one is not bad, the new model for this year.” In the bright clothing area of the store, Jessica held a red and white edged Christmas outfit in front of her, winked with her left eye, and asked with a smile, “Does it look good?” Wang Yang, carrying two bags, nodded and laughed, “The most beautiful Santa Claus in history.”

At that moment, a surprised voice burst out next to them, “Oh, Magical Yang! Jessica!” A young white couple walked over, a frequent occurrence almost every time they went shopping, they weren’t wearing sunglasses, the Asian and Latin combination, at the height of their popularity, it was easy to be recognized. They greeted the fans with a smile, “HEY”.

The blonde girl’s face lit up with joy as she reminisced about something while looking at Wang Yang and laughed, “We watched ‘The Hangover’ a couple of days ago, it was awesome! We almost died laughing!” The brown-haired, high-nosed man also held up his fist triumphantly and laughed, “So cool! Magical Yang, are you going to shoot a sequel?” Wang Yang, while placing the Christmas outfit in the bag, replied with a smile, “Thanks. They will make a sequel to ‘The Hangover,’ but I won’t be the one filming it.”

“Oh, that’s too bad!” The white couple seemed somewhat disappointed to hear it.

Jessica continued to pick out clothes, in a cheerful mood she said, “He’ll definitely film other movies! He didn’t even want to direct ‘High School Musical 2,’ which really pissed me off.” The young couple burst into laughter, the girl looking at Wang Yang with a smiling face curiously asked, “Is ‘MIT-21-TEAM’ funny? We’re looking forward to it now!” Wang Yang shrugged and laughed, “I don’t think it’s a comedy, but sometimes it’s quite interesting.”

…

Outside the mall in the parking lot, Wang Yang pushed a shopping cart full of items with his left hand and carried a Christmas tree in his right, while Jessica carried a number of bags, both laughing and heading toward the Hummer. Suddenly, they both saw flashes of camera lights and heard the clicking sounds; they turned their heads and saw at least a dozen paparazzi with telephoto lenses.

Jessica’s face immediately showed a hint of annoyance, her eyes narrowed, and the bags in her hands rattled, she whispered fiercely, “I really want to knock them all down, a few punches and kicks, let them roll on the ground.” She made a few huffing noises, seemingly imagining the scene, and recited in broken Chinese, “Meng Hu Yuan Pa Sheng, Li Di Tong Tian Bao, Ding Zhou Ben Lei Zhang, Chong Tian Bao… Tie Shan Kao!”

“Relax, relax! I don’t want to visit you in jail,” said Wang Yang, taking his eyes off them, and continued walking, “And you don’t have ‘Iron Body Lean,’ to perfect that move, you’d have to knock off a layer of bark from our camphor tree.” Jessica, however, ignored his words and continued to stare at the paparazzi dreamily, huffing and muttering, “Open door! Rest door! Close door…”

Wang Yang rolled his eyes, this girl has become more belligerent than him since she started martial arts! With a ‘hey,’ he bumped her with the Christmas tree and said sternly, “Had enough fighting? As your teacher, I don’t allow you to fight casually! No fighting!” Jessica frowned unhappily and muttered, “What’s the point of learning kung fu if you can’t fight?” Wang Yang paused for a moment, looked at her, and smiled, “That’s a question I once asked your master, and he said, ‘Figure out the answer yourself!’ I don’t know, it’s been on my mind for a long time; for now, think of it as keeping fit and self-defense.”

“Hmm,” Jessica pouted slightly and nodded, and Wang Yang suggested, “Jessie, we’re used to it anyway, just think of the paparazzi as fans right now, after all, these street snaps are ultimately for them to see.” Then, letting go of the shopping cart with his left hand, he waved towards the paparazzi, shouting, “Hey guys! Hard work! Merry Christmas!”

To his surprise, this shout attracted more trouble as a dozen paparazzi walked up to them. They kept pressing their cameras, smiling and greeting, “Hey, Yang, Jessica!” Jessica eyed Wang Yang with a “look at what you’ve done!” glare; Wang Yang raised an eyebrow and seriously told the paparazzi, “Fellows, I have a good memory, whoever doesn’t want to be blocked by a bunch of bodyguards in the future better behave.”

“`

“Of course, of course!” The paparazzi courteously stepped back a bit, and a chubby Caucasian man asked, “Yang, Yang! ‘The Hangover’ is selling big every day, beating Wayne Wang, Jennifer Lopez, Rachel McAdams, and others. Are you happy?”

Wang Yang walked in silence, not responding to the question.

The Hummer was not far ahead, and the paparazzi hastily threw out more questions, “This year you’ve ruined your own sunny image with two movies, why is that?” “Everyone is now praising your cameo acting skills, will you direct and act in your own movies in the future? Maybe a Kung Fu movie?” “The things at the end of ‘The Hangover,’ have you and Tom Wilin done any of that?” “Jessica, aren’t you angry?”

The two exchanged a knowing smile but still didn’t answer any of the questions.

As they reached the Hummer, Wang Yang placed the Christmas tree in the back of the vehicle, then started transferring the shopping cart contents, when another paparazzo asked, “The Golden Globe Awards are about to be announced, do you have any expectations?” He replied, “You ask if I have any expectations, the answer is definitely to get nominated, of course I would be happy with a nomination.”

…

As the 60th Golden Globe Awards nomination list approached, the first week of the Christmas season from December 13-19 officially came to a close. The total North American box office for the week was $202 million, with the weekend’s top R-rated comedy ‘The Hangover’ sweeping up $29.36 million in the remaining four days, grossing a total of $85.0916 million from 2875 theaters in its first week!

Second place went to ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers,’ which premiered on the 18th and earned $40.03 million in 3622 theaters in just two days; but in the battle for the comedy market, ‘The Hangover’ had no threatening competitors.

The week’s third place ‘Maid in Manhattan’ brought in $15.89 million, while fourth place ‘Star Trek: Nemesis’ earned $14.32 million; ‘The Hot Chick’ was fifth with $12.16 million… The other two comedies, ‘Drumline’ and ‘Analyze That,’ earned just $9.52 million and $3.26 million respectively.

The $85.09 million figure set a new record for the highest opening week for an R-rated comedy, and its reputation among audiences was unmatched, with a 95% audience approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, making it this week’s champion among new releases.

Yahoo’s weekly box office commentary said, “Just as ‘High School Musical’ started a full revival of the musical genre, ‘Juno’ triggered an unpleasant pregnancy craze and a wave of TV series follow-ups, ‘The Hangover’ has opened a new chapter for R-rated comedies! Now studios are seeing the incredible appeal of this theme beyond the campus, and more excellent R-rated comedies can be expected in the future. Right now, ‘The Hangover’ only has one path ahead, and that is to become the highest-grossing R-rated comedy of all time!”

Everyone at Flame Film is cheering and preparing to have a joyous Christmas; other film companies can only look on enviously, wondering why they don’t have a magical Yang. ‘The Hangover’ cost just $25 million!

According to professional forecasts by Flame and various companies, even though ‘The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers’ and ‘Two Weeks Notice’ are officially releasing next week, hit comedies tend to drop slowly in terms of percentage, and considering the comedy market this Christmas has been completely dominated by ‘The Hangover,’ if next week’s decline does not exceed 30%, the final North American box office could very likely reach $250-300 million, if not more!

What about overseas? Already released in major box office countries like the United Kingdom, Australia, France, Germany, and others, ‘The Hangover’ made $62.15 million in its first week, equally a box office bomb. Forecasters predict it could also make over $200 million in foreign box offices. Those critics who once doubted its box office performance now dare not bring up the matter anymore.

There’s a ranking called “Directors’ North American Box Office Totals,” and with the addition of this $85 million, Wang Yang’s ranking has surpassed James Cameron’s $1.130 billion, reaching sixth place with $1.1914 billion, averaging $198.5 million over six movies.

At the top is Steven Spielberg with $2.9238 billion, averaging $146.1 million over 20 movies; second place goes to Robert Zemeckis, with an average of $128.4 million across 12 movies and a total of $1.5418 billion in box office.

If ‘The Hangover’s final North American box office is as predicted, Wang Yang’s ranking could rise to fourth, overtaking Ron Howard’s $1.3001 billion (‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas,’ ‘A Beautiful Mind’), George Lucas’s $1.3203 billion, and sitting behind Chris Columbus with $1.5388 billion (‘Home Alone,’ ‘Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone’).

But Spielberg was 56, Zemeckis was 50, Columbus was 44, Howard was 48, Lucas was 58, Cameron was 48… Magician Yang was only 22.

‘The Hangover’ currently has a score of 8.4 on its main IMDb page, with a TOP250 score of 8.3. Critics still have mixed feelings about it, and the number of those who find ‘The Hangover’ utterly boring or worry about Magician Yang becoming a wayward youth who never returns continues to rise; meanwhile, those who say they laughed till their bellies hurt and give Magician Yang a thumbs-up are also on the rise.

“This movie is too cool! I’ve decided that as soon as I’m old enough to drink, I’ll go out and get myself drunk,” Anne Hathaway wrote on her blog. Natalie Portman wrote jokingly on her blog, “Am I going to tell you I laughed from start to finish watching ‘The Hangover’? Yes, I am. But is counting cards really like that… whatever?” Rachel McAdams unabashedly wrote, “Let me tell you a hilarious joke, ‘The Hangover.’ Wang Yang, I’m smart, right?”

Superman Tom Welling also updated his blog, “The movie is too crazy! I do know a bit of a fun secret, but I can’t say…” Scarlett Johansson’s blog boldly wrote, “I’ve always hoped I could appear in such a comedy, Magical Yang, remember to find me next time!” Michael Pitt, “Yang, what do you want to do? You’ve made me realize that I actually quite like all this shit and fart humor.” Will Smith’s blog noted, “Jaden has been talking about watching Yang’s new movie these days, wait till you grow up a bit more!”…

However, the Hollywood stars who praised “The Hangover” on blogs and media interviews were not just Wang Yang’s friends within the circle. Tom Cruise, who was invited to start a blog long ago, also wrote a short viewing journal, “Took a day off today and went to the cinema to watch ‘The Hangover.’ It’s been a long time since I laughed like this! But I feel a bit embarrassed—was I really that foolish in ‘Rain Man’?”

“Magical Yang, why do you hate me? I love you and your movies so much!” — Angelina Jolie; “I really like ‘The Hangover’!! Another classic, Magical Yang is incredible.” — Kirsten Dunst…

Halle Berry, Jim Carrey, Drew Barrymore, Naomi Watts…it seemed like overnight, Wang Yang had become the most popular person on earth. Of course, this actually has a long history, gradually accumulating, but after “District 9” and “The Hangover,” two starkly different but both critically and commercially successful movies, this accumulation finally burst forth explosively.

“If you started knowing Magical Yang from ‘The Hangover,’ you must think he’s a person full of crude toilet humor,” — the latest issue of “Entertainment Weekly” magazine’s feature “Who Is Magical Yang?”

Is he a shit and fart director? Yes, but at the same time, he’s someone who can craft biopics, enabling Will Smith to successfully turn his career around with an Oscar for Best Actor; he can also handle big-budget sci-fi productions, achieving depth and commercial success; and he can produce indie arthouse films like “Juno,” which all have connections to the Oscars!

Not to be ignored are the socially sensational “Paranormal Activity,” “High School Musical”…

The most terrifying thing is, he’s only 22 years old—who knows what else this magical director will come up with in the future? He is also the CEO of Flame Film and a rising star in the IT industry, completely self-sufficient. So whether they’re A-list stars, youth idols, or unknown actors, everyone is very enthusiastic and polite, sincerely or just hopping on the bandwagon praising “The Hangover” and Magical Yang—who would want to offend a monster destined for limitless potential?

And the public stance of the movie companies is also very polite, with some indeed sensing something—Magical Yang does not respond well to pressure! If he doesn’t want to direct, what can you do? If you want to work with him and Flame Film, better play by the Magical Director’s rules!

In fact, just one thing was enough to make actors adore Magical Yang—the success of movies like “The Hangover” was not solely the director’s to enjoy. Everyone involved, in front of and behind the camera, saw their worth rise with the tide, especially the lead actors who became new stars in high demand, widely praised by the media and public, with a flurry of film offers following.

For Michelle Rodriguez, the range of roles on the silver screen suddenly expanded. “Los Angeles Times” praised her performance in “The Hangover,” “Never thought Michelle could be this hilarious.” “Entertainment Weekly” commented, “A five-star performance! She’s tougher than before, but 100% funnier.”

“I’ve always said, when a director like him invites you to a movie, you don’t consider, you just nod and agree, and then he will arrange everything for you,” Michelle said during an interview with “The Hollywood Reporter.” And when asked if she would do more comedies in the future, she expressed, “I don’t know, no one has invited me yet. But to tell you the truth, if it’s not Magical Yang’s set, I don’t know if I could be funny.”

Charlize Theron, who didn’t receive as high praise as Michelle but still earned acclaim as “another Charlize,” said in “People” magazine, “After doing this comedy, I have a different deep understanding of many things, including acting and characters… But I won’t do a comedy next, I’ve confirmed to star in ‘Monster,’ it’s a memorable story.”

Besides the two female leads, “Doug” Matthew Fox was also rediscovered by the public, his popularity soaring; and the hottest were the trio of groomsmen, with media marveling at their comedic talent, knowing these three clowns were bound to become stars.

Ed Helms could play a variety of genteel, neurotic roles; Zack Galifianakis, turned into “Hollywood’s funniest fat guy,” was a rare commodity in comedy; and the tall, handsome Bradley Cooper, with the widest range of roles, was capable of success in romance, comedy, action, and more.

And during their interview with “Variety,” they all happily joked, “Don’t know what movies we’ll do in the future, but ‘The Hangover 2’ is definitely one of them. Magical Yang said he already has plans for it, really looking forward to it!”

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PS: 7,000 words update, woah, still humbly asking for monthly tickets, it might be annoying, please forgive me! Today a friend told me, what’s the use if you don’t beg with floods of tears or run naked in snow? I know how to write books, but really don’t know how to say these things, just continuing to sincerely ask for monthly tickets! Thanks, everyone!