The Best Director

Early in the morning, in the hotel suite bedroom, Wang Yang asked with interest while getting dressed. Jessica uttered an ‘mmm’ and, with wide-open eyes, she laughed: “You go wash your face and brush your teeth first!” Wang Yang shrugged nonchalantly and headed towards the bathroom: “Alright, but I need to pee first.” He suddenly glanced at her smiling face and realized why he was feeling strange. She should be excitedly counting on her fingers: “Yang, guess how many points we got on IMDB! And what other websites are saying…”

“Could that situation really have happened?” Thinking of Mark Strong’s words during the internal screening and his own psychological prediction, Wang Yang couldn’t help laughing a few times, and teasingly asked her with a mysterious tone, “Sweetheart, do you think something interesting has happened?” Seeing his seemingly happy demeanor, Jessica couldn’t guess what he was thinking and hesitated: “Maybe…”

Wang Yang wasn’t in a rush to know the answer, so he went to the bathroom to pee, wash up… and then practiced Bajiquan on the balcony. Nearby, Jessica, also practicing and dripping with sweat, suddenly stopped. She knew they had to face it someday, she didn’t want someone else to tell him the news—it had always been her, whether it was joy or sorrow, they shared it together. Jessica, catching her breath, said: “Yang, 7.9 points on IMDB, the audience generally liked it a lot, 90% approval on Rotten Tomatoes; but those critics… 40% fresh.”

“Oh, OK!” Wang Yang punched like the wind, stepping into a bow stance facing the morning sun, and with a sudden upward punch, he let out a “whoosh” as the wind broke. It really happened! He grunted and stumbled forward a few steps. The world of film criticism hadn’t taken well to its gentle “mediocrity”. Really lame! What interested him now was why they had thrown rotten tomatoes at it. He glanced at Jessica’s calm face and suddenly laughed: “Please, Why-So-Serious?”

“Nothing, that’s just me.” Jessica handed him a sweat towel, her face wearing a tender smile: “I’m just worried about you.”

“Oh, not that I’m exactly thrilled; I’m a bit down, but it’s really nothing.” Wang Yang wiped his hands, 40% freshness. He could already imagine how severe the “backlash” would be. Those media outlets that had once praised him would now change their tune, and those who always disliked him had their chance. Insults like magician Yang screwed up, Wang Yang is an idiot would certainly be plentiful.

But compared to that bit of frustration, what he always feared most was his family worrying and getting hurt because of this, especially Jessica, who starred in “The Devil Wears Prada”.

He hugged her and gave her a kiss, Wang Yang reassured her: “All of this was within my expectations. The dissatisfaction from critics, some disappointment from fans… I’m sorry for not making you a strong contender for the Oscar for Best Actress.” Jessica gradually relaxed, tilted her head and with a smile said: “I’ve got the Jessica Award for Best Actress, don’t I?” Wang Yang immediately laughed out loud: “Yes! But for the Oscar, Meryl Streep has a chance.”

“You can’t please everyone, and you know me, as long as the audience likes it, that’s good!” Wang Yang hung the towel on her shoulder and moved to the side, striking a pose and continued with a smile: “Critics aren’t score-giving robots. They have their narrow-minded sides, and many factors can affect their judgment and reviews. I regret that they couldn’t appreciate ‘The Devil Wears Prada’… But I know you did great, Streep was great, Emily was great… Valery was great, Margaret was great… I did great too, you understand?”

He slowly practiced the Tai Chi boxing routine, saying: “Every genre of story has its limitations; sometimes I have to be its balance point, not the extreme. Because that’s the best approach, the audience will prove ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ is an excellent light comedy! So now is not the time to be sad, it’s unnecessary.” With that, he went back to practicing Bajiquan fervently.

“Mm!” Jessica smiled, his attitude was just like she thought, even more serene and confident, without surprise or discomfort. But maybe it was psychological, she felt that his punches were even more powerful and faster than usual, “I’m a bit down!” How could she cheer him up?

“OK, let’s see what they have to say.” After the morning exercise and breakfast, Wang Yang turned on the computer and while browsing today’s “The New York Times” in his hand, the female critic Christy Lemire who gave a 4/5 wrote: “Entertaining, relaxing, lively, sexy, beautiful. You simply can’t take your eyes off the screen, you have to watch it! It releases bursts of strong energy, capturing your attention until it ends.”

Wang Yang exclaimed, shaking the newspaper in his hand, and boastfully said to Jessica next to him with a smile: “See that? Christy really loves ‘The Devil Wears Prada’, what a great viewer!” Jessica nodded and smiled: “Obviously so!”

“‘The Devil Wears Prada’ gives you the impression it’s a real story that’s happening, with an excellent ending and a lot of fun, a very pleasant and relaxing viewing experience.” — 3/4, Mick LaSalle, “San Francisco Chronicle”; “While ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ isn’t going to change anyone’s life or even how they dress, but it does provide a thoroughly delightful satire as well as a chance for a few stellar performances from Meryl Streep and the other leading actors.” — A, Tom Long, “Detroit News”…

“Haha, they are praising us too!”

But soon he was submerged in the criticism, the Rotten Tomatoes page on his computer screen displaying numerous one-liner reviews, a few red tomatoes amongst a swath of green rotten ones. Seeing Roger Ebert’s sarcastic critique, Wang Yang snorted with wrinkled brows, feeling quite disappointed, “Yes, I just want to tell everyone how beautiful my Sweetheart is! But Roger, you really got it wrong this time, the box office will be just fine… for this reason, haha!”

Jessica looked at him, recognizing his disappointment and anger, knowing he wasn’t as “Zen” as he pretended to be. Who wouldn’t feel those emotions in such a situation? She frowned in thought, trying to come up with a way to lift his spirits. Suddenly she had an idea, stood up, and ran off, “Yang, you take a look! Wait for me, just a moment, I’ll be right back!”

“Oh!” Indeed, Wang Yang was disappointed and angry because of those reviews, though not sad. Why angry? Look at The Northwest Herald’s Jeffrey Westhoff’s poor rating of 2.5/4: “Andrea’s moral decline is a gradual and clear process, and she doesn’t even realize it’s happening. While this might be more realistic for a person, it doesn’t make the drama more interesting.”

If he were drinking the milk from breakfast right now, Wang Yang would definitely have sprayed it out in disbelief; this review was certainly, certainly a bunch of nonsense. Because Andrea’s mindset changes causing the film to be “oppressive,” hence it’s not good? Why not ask what those who criticize it as “shallow” are thinking?

Like many other critics, Jeffrey Westhoff essentially prejudged and rejected The Devil Wears Prada based on its genre and structure. He felt any human change made it uninteresting, which only means this genre isn’t for him, not that it’s a garbage genre! That’s like people who don’t like horror films—does that mean all horror films are trash?

Ordinary viewers can freely express their opinions; critics with media power and public influence should not be so irresponsible.

“If the story focused solely on the protagonist Andy’s temptation and fall, followed by her redemption, then its spiritual depth would have been shockingly profound. But now, its narrative style lacks any suspense whatsoever.” — Alan Dale, critics.org.

“Yes, yes, perhaps having Darren Aronofsky direct and Natalie Portman star would have been better.” Wang Yang couldn’t help but spread his hands in exasperation, this review was exactly what he expected! Yet another prejudiced review, and in direct contrast to Jeffrey Westhoff’s line of thinking—one wants no oppression in the film, the other wants it throughout; both gave rotten ratings.

What exactly were these critics trying to perform? Films are like swatches—do they only accept bright reds or purples and can’t accommodate paler shades?

He believed that was what the audience wanted. Roger Ebert said The Devil Wears Prada didn’t have a clear positioning, but it did. Like the ’06 version, his primary target was female viewers, most of whom want to see fashion. The name brands, models, and celebrities were just part of the atmosphere, neither overdone nor lacking— he delivered, satisfying their needs. The fashion industry’s common knowledge and operations, akin to counting cards, were also what they wanted, and he provided that as well.

The ’06 version even thought that besides this, no one cared about Andrea’s mindset changes, so it was even more superficial; but he cared, he wanted to discuss it amidst a gentle atmosphere and rhythm.

However, it now seems that the audience’s reaction is not bad; but critics oriented towards “pure light comedy” find it more annoying with the addition of “Magical Yang.” They simply can’t tolerate it. Those inclined towards “fall, darkness, human nature” see some hope, but then the film switches to laughter and brand names, with its intermittent discomfort—such shallow depth! Adding “Magical Yang” to the mix, intolerable! Thus, the rotten tomatoes fly back and forth, not even reaching the 76% of the ’06 version.

After all is said and done, many critics are selfish, often starting with their ideas and sensory experiences, failing to be objective; and then he himself has his own ideas, commercial films also have to consider their target audience’s thoughts, so that’s how it is now.

“Hey, buddy, I was just thinking of you.” Wang Yang was continuing to browse through these increasingly amusing reviews when his phone suddenly vibrated. When he picked it up, he saw it was Natalie Portman and quickly answered with a chuckle, “What’s up?” Natalie on the other line paused, “YEAH? Why?” Wang Yang gave an “uh” and said, “Because my phone has caller ID, haha! Pretty cool, huh?”

“Very cool, you seem to be in a good mood…” Hearing his lame joke, Natalie couldn’t help but laugh a few times before getting serious, “No big deal, I watched The Devil Wears Prada yesterday, and today a lot of people are trashing it, you know? I was thinking whether or not to comfort you, you know from a psychological perspective, even though you have an Andrea, you have love; but you also need care from friends, you need friendship.”

Leaning back in his chair, Wang Yang smiled at his phone and said, “That’s completely right; I am a tiny bit sad, okay, you can start now.” Natalie’s voice was coquettish, “You know! It was indeed a bit bland, not that attractive, no urge to scream ‘oh wow’, I don’t know, overall it’s okay, better than ‘High School Musical’.” Wang Yang said with surprise, “Hey! Are you comforting me or hitting me where it hurts?” Natalie spoke casually, “Maybe I just came to knock you down a peg.”

Before the phone, both of them couldn’t help but roll their eyes with laughter. Natalie let out a breath and raised her voice, “Anyway, be yourself! Because in this world, there are lots and lots of media critics, but there’s only one you.” Wang Yang laughed, “Right, you’re correct, I’ll be myself.” Natalie exclaimed, “Oh! It just slipped out! What does this mean? I remembered this line; it’s a good movie.”

“Thank you.” Wang Yang expressed his thanks, and Natalie added, “Also, Jessica is very hot, she did really well,” Wang Yang again said “Thank you,” Natalie continued, “And Eileen is very hot, she did really well,” Wang Yang again said “Thank you,” Natalie yet again said, “And Streep is very hot, she did really well,” Wang Yang shrugged, “Thanks, such a good director I am!” Natalie said again, “And on a side note, Natalie is pretty hot too,” Wang Yang said, “I am very—very grateful!”

After exchanging a few more words, they ended the call, and Wang Yang shouted loudly, “Sweetheart, Natalie told me to tell you, you’re hot, you did really well!” Jessica’s voice came from the restroom, “I know! Thank her for me!” Wang Yang called out, puzzled, “What are you doing? Is your stomach upset?” Jessica shouted back, “No, I’m fine, I’ll be quick!” Just as Wang Yang was about to get up to check on her, Jessica hollered, “Don’t come over!”

But Wang Yang was immediately entangled by a flurry of reassurance calls from his best friends, good friends, colleagues, and ordinary friends, as if overnight, his image had become “Poor Yang.”

Zachary said, “Eileen and I laughed our heads off watching it yesterday,” Robert Downey Jr. said, “Don’t mind those critics, when I was your age, the slightest ridicule would drive me mad, numbing myself with drugs; what’s so great about them now? You can’t let these people hurt you.” Joshua said, “Definitely a good movie, no doubt!” Will Smith, Michael Pitt, Fatty Harry…

“We don’t have the precise box office data for the 12th yet, but you don’t need to worry, the exit polls look good!” Mark Strong didn’t offer much comfort, they had already discussed this possibility, and the box office was the key to determining the success or failure of ‘The Devil Wears Prada’.

“I’m not worried, it’s a very bankable topic.” Wang Yang looked at the screen where the review read, “The story is full of deception, Prada was one of the sponsors for ‘TDWP’, and these hefty industry advertising fees have influenced its criticism of fashion.” In other words, the criticism of the fashion industry wasn’t harsh enough, he shook his head, finding it amusing, “These reviews are hilarious.”

There’s a limit to everything, and blindly cursing and mocking the fashion industry aside, the influence of this commercially biased movie was never going to surpass the current objective evaluations because the former’s box office numbers wouldn’t be high, but the latter could make tens of millions of viewers start to think, “Is my own choice the most fashionable?”

“Hey, Yang, I saw ‘TDWP’ yesterday…” As soon as Wang Yang heard Rachel’s introduction over the phone, he slapped his forehead and interrupted her, “Here we go again! Rachel, are you trying to comfort me?” Rachel’s laughter was hearty as she immediately rejoined, “No, no, not at all! Seriously though, do you have any evening dresses from Paris, any dresses? The awards season is coming up, I need a few.”

Wang Yang grunted slightly, nearly saying “Nothing from Paris, but I might have a few from Penis,” but that joke was definitely inappropriate! It would suit only the original screenplay draft, which was even more devastating to fashion. Joking with these good friends now to show he was fine had almost become unstoppable. He said with a laugh, “Well, I might have a few, but they’d drown you in my size. But seriously.” He wondered, “What happened? Why does everyone think I need comforting?”

“Stop feeling sad, okay?” Rachel spoke with tenderness, and Wang Yang replied helplessly, “The problem is, I’m not.” Rachel laughed softly, “Unless you’re a robot, I don’t believe you’re not at least a little upset. Do you know how I felt last year when ‘The Hot Chick’ got its teeth kicked in by ‘The Hangover,’ and everyone was saying ‘stupid Rachel’? I buried myself in a pillow and then cried.”

Wang Yang exclaimed, “Oh my God, really? I’m so sorry.” But she seemed fine back then, very cheerful!

“It wasn’t a child’s wailing and crying; I mean, it hurt, I really felt low, right?” Rachel laughed, and sometimes emotions would surge unexpectedly, becoming hard to control. She laughed, “So I’m sure you feel upset too.” Wang Yang scratched his forehead, “Upset, not really, but my anger is growing; they’re so unfair.” Rachel tried to console, “Don’t think about it, you can’t please everyone, and that’s an unbearable burden to carry! No matter what anyone says, just be yourself, that’s what I wanted to tell you.”

“Okay, I will! Thank you, Rachel!” Although she couldn’t see it, Wang Yang nodded vigorously, filled with emotion. These old and good friends who had walked through many years with him, who had helped him, trusted him, and even liked him, who had shared joys and struggled side by side, like Rachel, there were things beyond interests and anything else, just friendship. Having so many good friends caring about him felt great!

After hanging up Rachel’s call, Wang Yang checked the time on his computer; it had been so long, what on earth was Jessica doing? Just as he was about to close those review web pages and ask if she still wanted to go shopping for wedding supplies, he suddenly heard the bathroom door open and then a “Hey!” He turned his head to look, and burst into wild laughter, “Wow, wow! Hahaha…”

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There stood Jessica at the door, her hair styled into a Beatles-inspired BOBO cut, tied back in a ponytail; what had him bursting into laughter, though, was that she was holding a “guitar”! No wonder there were strange sounds—she had taken off the white toilet seat, a mop handle as well, and somehow fixed them together into a makeshift “toilet guitar”.

“Hahaha! How are you?!” Wang Yang laughed so hard he was bending forward and back, unable to stop himself. She often played such whimsical pranks—was she here now to comfort him or to tease him again?

“Today, I’m going to sing you a song.” Jessica said with a brilliant smile, pleased and sweetened by seeing his reaction. She lightly tapped the toilet seat and looked into his eyes as she walked slowly towards him, tenderly singing “Hey Jude”: “Hey, Judy, don’t be afraid. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better…”

While her affectionate singing voice was filled with love, even though the guitar made awkward thudding sounds out of rhythm, Wang Yang’s laughter slowly subsided, feeling an urge to embrace her. He stood up with a gentle smile, “You’ve always been in my heart.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Jessica said with a laugh as she stopped singing, reaching out to touch his face, and then chuckled self-mockingly, “You know I’m just a beer-drinking Texan. I don’t know how to tell you to ‘cheer up, no matter what!’ and that I will always support you, love you.” She lifted her left hand to show the ring, and continued tapping the toilet seat: “Hey, Judy, don’t be afraid…”

“You’re bound to get her, have her…” Wang Yang felt a warmth welling up in his eyes, and he started to sing softly, moved by her enjoyment in rocking to the music. Unable to withstand the emotional pull, he reached out with a smile, “Please, give me the guitar! Let me sing.”

“Whenever you feel pain.” Jessica abruptly stopped singing and scurried away with the guitar: “Why should I give it to you? I was singing just fine! Hey, Judy, persevere!” Wang Yang laughed and reached out to chase after her: “I know the reason you turned into Avril! It’s because this guitar is a legendary treasure. If I get it, I can surpass Paul McCartney, right? Give it to me!”

“No way! I found it! Don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders—” “Okay, so you won’t give it to me? Then I’ll carry you on my shoulders!”

The bedroom and living room erupted with waves of laughter and playful shouting.

More than half of the movie critics said “The Devil Wears Prada” was a mediocre flop and wouldn’t be a box office hit, declaring that Wang Yang was headed for a critical and box office disaster. However, amid the skepticism, the box office data for the 12th, 13th, 14th… The first weekend of the Christmas season told a different story—the performance of “TDWP” showed no signs of the predicted box office disaster.

“What!! What’s going on? Wasn’t Wang Yang doomed?”

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Note: The movie reviews are based on real materials, and all the criticisms saying Andrea’s change of heart ruined the comedy or that it would’ve been better to focus on the fall are not nonsense. Also, as a reminder to everyone, Qidian has now launched a system to limit spending (only consumption at Qidian is allowed on the account), which should effectively eliminate the practice of using hijacked accounts for gaming! Everyone, please set it up! Seeing all the messages about accounts being hijacked and not being able to subscribe and support anymore truly pains me! (

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