She's My Sleeping Pill

Chapter 55 - WISHES

"Hn? Why are you asking this all of a sudden?" she asked him back while starting to comb his hair. She could not fathom his way of thinking at all.

"I just thought that it would be nice to see the stars tonight."

"Why don't you watch it at the balcony?"

"I don't want to watch it alone. Can you watch it with me?"

Cayenne didn't see his face but she could tell that Stefan was sad. The tone of his voice was telling her that he was thinking of something again. If she guessed it correctly, it must be his brother again. As far as she remembered, based on his words, he didn't care about anyone else except his brother.

"Okay. Let's watch it together." Cayenne agreed after some time.

After drying his hair, the two of them went to the balcony. There's a wooden bench in there and they sat on it while stargazing. "It's lovely." Cayenne whispered while staring into the vast sky, littered with small and big stars.

"I used to do this with my brother. He said that I can wish on something when I see a shooting star. One time, I saw one and made a wish but my wish wasn't granted."

"Why? What did you wish?"

"I wished for my brother to stay happy and blessed forever."

Cayenne was silent for a moment and stared into space. "Maybe, your brother's fate was already written before you could make a wish."

"Of course, it was." Stefan responded with a hollow laughter. "The moment I was born, his fate was already written."

"No, it wasn't your fault." Cayenne defended for his sake. "Things happen for a reason. Don't blame yourself."

Stefan just sighed and closed his eyes. "I don't believe in wishes anymore. If I want something, I don't need to wish for it. I will do everything I can to achieve it."

"That might be the best thing to do." She replied in a whisper. "You can do whatever you want when you want it. You know what, I was envious of rich people before. I used to think that they've got everything in life or that they get the things that they wanted to have. However, I realized that we all have problems and worries."

"You are very rational. You don't think of things with just your point of view."

"You think so?" Cayenne questioned with faint chuckle. "I am just happy with what I have now. I am not really aiming to become rich. I just want my siblings to finish their studies and for my mom to get better."

"What about yourself? Don't you have anything for yourself?"

Cayenne thought for a while as she gazed at the stars. "I don't have anything for myself. I'm happy now."

Stefan looked at her. She has done so much for her family but she had no idea what to do for herself. In fact, she never thought of herself before. She only wanted her family to have a good life.

"Ayen, don't give everything to your family. You should also think about yourself. You should love yourself. You should care for yourself. You should spend for yourself. I know that they are very important to you but you are as important as them. Maybe to yourself you don't think you are important but you don't know, someone out there; values you so much."

"Values me? Oh! Perhaps Arthur does."

"Arthur?" Stefan questioned with his alarm bells ringing on his head. This name was someone he had been wary about. "What makes you think it's him?"

"Because he likes me for a long time?" Cayenne retorted with questioning tone. "I know I am not that pretty or rich. I'm not trying to boast myself either but, he said he liked me."

"Liked? With 'd'? The past form?"

"Why do you have so many questions?" Cayenne asked him with a faint smile. There was a little pain but she was able to hide it immediately. "Arthur told me that he liked me which was five years ago. I refused him back then. Now, he's back from States and he's trying to get close to me again. It's a little awkward though. I have been trying to avoid him but Luiz likes him so much. And now, he knew about my address again."

"Oh! That's how it is. I thought you invited him last time when he visited you guys after your brother's awarding ceremony."

"Last time? You were there? Why didn't you tell me?" Stefan slapped his face mentally after making a slip of the tongue. He had been keeping it a secret from her and now, he ended up telling her.

"Something else came up and I had to leave immediately." He lied. "So, I didn't tell you about it. Anyway, why did you refuse him? Aren't you close before? Don't you like him?"

"Arthur is nice man. He was a good friend of mine and he helped us a lot. Whether I like him or not is no longer important. I have no space for that kind of thing anymore."

"So, you like him."

"Nope. I liked him. The past form again. I don't have any special feelings for him anymore. Aside from that, a rich man and a poor lady should never be together."

"That's wrong. We are together now so, that must be wrong."

"Well, we have special circumstances so, I guess there's an exception for us." Cayenne replied with a sweet smile on her lips. "I agreed with his mother's opinion though. Isn't it a little ambitious for me to like a man of his caliber? I must have been delusional that time."

Stefan felt angry in his heart. He hated it when she's belittling herself. It reminds him of the time that they argued and he never wanted it to happen again. He didn't want to see her sad expression. He didn't want her to think of someone else other than him.

Stefan stepped closer to her and took hold of her hands. "Ayen, you should never belittle yourself. So, what if you are not rich? You are kind, caring, selfless and smart. So, what if you are not good for him? Maybe it happened because someone else needs you. Maybe you are meant for someone else instead of him. Don't think of his mother's words. If you keep thinking about it, you won't be able to move forward."

"Hey! Why are you acting sweet all of a sudden? Are you planning something?" Cayenne teased him which made him grin.

"I am. I was thinking of hugging you to sleep tonight."

"Tsk! What a letdown." Cayenne snickered.

"Let's go back inside. It's getting colder here." Stefan mentioned and gestured for her to come inside.

For one last time, Cayenne looked up into the sky and saw a shooting star. "Stefan, look up!"

The two of them gazed at the sky. At first, there were few meteor showers and as time went by, it grew in number. Stefan said that he didn't believe in wishes anymore. But at this moment, he couldn't help himself and looked towards Cayenne. 'I hope and wish that she's the right girl for me. I don't want anyone else.'

Cayenne still likes making wishes. Either it happens or not, she still wished for it. Right now, she wished not for herself but for them man beside her, 'I wish that he'd find someone he will truly love and care for the rest of his life.'