She's My Sleeping Pill

Chapter 102 - YOU'RE STILL AWAKE?!

Cayenne stiffened and was surprised to hear him agreed with his words. Knowing that she's got no other option, specially that she couldn't take back her words, she stood up and wiped her tears. Her heart was heavy but she was the one who suggested the separation. She couldn't just blame him. She hated herself that she developed some unwarranted feelings. She hated herself that she was not being careful around him. She hated herself that her heart chose to love him. However, she just couldn't regret her choice. Even though she was hurting around him, she was also the happiest when she's with him and got his attention and care.

"Thank you for all this time. I'll return the excess money that you've given me for this month's salary." She smiled painfully at him with her heart broken to several pieces once again. It hadn't been long when she tried fixing them and now, they're all crumbled leaving dust and pebbles.

"You can keep it." Stefan told her. He was about to touch her when Cayenne moved to the side with a faint move. It seemed like she didn't intentionally do it but in fact, she was really avoiding him. "I have something else I want to say."

"Can we talk tomorrow before I leave?"

"You're leaving?"

"Hn. There's no point in me staying here." She braved herself to stop from crying once again. She didn't want to show to him that she was weak and miserable once again. "Good night. I'll leave tomorrow morning." Cayenne turned back and every step she took was like dragging her battered and bruised body from the precipice of deep and dangerous cliff. She wanted to start over again without him.

Seeing her bleak silhouette and hunched back, Stefan felt that she was drifting away. He felt that if he let go of her this time, he wouldn't be able to see her again. The sudden fear erupted from the deepest pit of his heart and he was thrown in panic.

"Cayenne." He walked towards her. His slow steps became faster and faster in order to catch with her. She was about to get upstairs when he took hold of her hand and spun her around. Her eyes were brimming with tears, and no matter how much she tried to wipe them away, they'd just keep pouring out. "Ayen, we need to talk. I won't let you sleep if you won't speak to me."

"Go ahead. Speak." Since she was no longer his employee, she was no longer polite towards him. She was still hurting and seeing his face was giving her so much heartaches. "Just say it and go. I want to rest." She felt helpless and really tired. In any case, nothing would change her mind at this point. She already decided to leave and move to a place which wouldn't remind her of his presence.

Stefan led her back to the master's bedroom and went back to the kitchen to get her a glass of milk. When he returned to the room, Cayenne was standing at the verandah, shivering from cold and mourning for the death of her love. She was trying her best to bury her feelings at the deepest pit of her beating heart.

She didn't receive the water that he gave her. Instead, she went to the marble chair and sat without saying anything. "Ayen, I didn't fire you because I want you to go."

There was no response but this time, she turned her head to face him. Stefan continued to pour his thoughts towards her. "I want to start a new relationship with you. I don't like this employer-employee relationship that we have. I don't you to lie to your parents. I don't want you to always worry about me when you've been risking so much in this relationship. I want to start over again with you."

Cayenne blinked her eyes. Even though it was against her well-mannered personality, right in front of her, she tried digging her ears with her fingers. There was confusion and disbelief crossing on her face. "What were you saying again?"

Stefan took a step closer to her and handed her the glass of water. "I told you that I want to start over again with you."

"Start over with what?"

"I want to seriously pursue you. I know that we told your parents about our relationship but, I still want to court you properly."

Cayenne chuckled with defiance. There's no way that he'd like someone like her. "Stefan, are you trying to exact your revenge on me after what I have done earlier?"

"No. No, that's not it." He instantly denied her accusations. "Ayen, I really want us to have a proper relationship. This is the reason that I agreed to your sudden outburst of quitting from your work."

"How can that be?" Cayenne's tears seeped out of her eyes again. "How can you like someone who's poor and ugly? How can you like someone who doesn't have any positive thing about her. If people find out that you're with me, they will only ridicule you for having such tasteless choice. You will be in tabloids once again. Why must you insist having a relationship with me?"

"Because I don't like the thought of you disappearing from my life. I don't want you to leave me alone. Ayen, will you accept my proposal? Can I court you once again? This time, for sure, there's no money being involve, just my pure feelings and affections towards you."

Cayenne looked at him but she didn't nod her head or deny it. At this point, she already started building a wall between them. She was being more cautious compared to how she was before. She didn't like the thought that Stefan might just be playing around with her.

In the past month and several weeks with him, she realized that he liked to hurt her, then make amends. Hurt her again and apologize, then try to win her over again. She never wanted to put her guard when she's with him but she had enough of this comical life she has. If people knew about her plight, they would laugh their heads off because of her misery.

She pulled her hands away from him and pushed the water on the table to his side. "Let's talk tomorrow. Things like these should be discussed when both parties are sober, not when we're both caught in our complicated emotion."

"But, I am being serious here."

"And so, do I." Cayenne turned around and left after expressing her thoughts. "Let's sleep separately tonight. I have resigned from my work and you have fired me as well."

Stefan hated the idea of sleeping on a bed without her. He hated himself for hastily agreeing to her decision. And because of this, he will be all alone, although that was what he decided to do few minutes ago.

He walked out of the room and got inside the room across where she was. The silence of their rooms enveloped them and made them felt even gloomier. They were both unused to this kind of atmosphere after few weeks of being happy and contented with each other's company.

Cayenne sat on her bed. Stefan was sitting on the carpeted floor while leaning his back on the bed. It was already late at night and morning was slowly nearing. After an hour, it was already half an hour past two in the morning. The two of them were still wide awake.

Cayenne was tossing and turning on her bed. Stefan was pacing back and forth inside his room. Both eyes were red from lack of sleep. Another hour had passed and the roosters in the province were starting with their cock-a-doodle-doos. The sound of the frogs was starting to diminish as the dawn was slowly breaking.

"What should I do?" Cayenne mumbled to herself. Her eyes were still swollen and puffy from crying so much last night. She took out her phone from her bag and saw the phone case. Her heart was melting whenever she thought of their matching cases but she also hardened herself not to give in so easily with his words.

Stefan was no better. He was biting his fingernails from so much worry. Morning was opening up slowly and he was afraid that she'd instantly leave after waking up, leaving him alone without bidding goodbye.

"No, that can't happen. I will never let her leave me alone." Stefan told himself and decided not to sleep anymore. He will guard the door to make sure that she won't be able to escape.

At six in the morning, the two of them were wide awake and couldn't go to sleep either. They both decided to come downstairs to think of what they could say once they met again.

The moment they opened their doors, they found themselves looking in each other's eyes. "You're still awake?!"