She's My Sleeping Pill

“You won the gamble.” Mr. Lhuillier expressed when he opened the door and found his daughter in the arms of her beloved man. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“It’s okay, uncle. The doctor already told me of all the possibilities and I prepared myself for it. I just feel a little sad that things have to come to this point.”

“Don’t worry about it anymore. You just have to think of the present and slowly build the future you wanted with her. My wife and I will go out for a bit to buy some dresses for her. Do you need anything?”

“Nothing for now.”

The man closed the door when he left and the room sank into a deafening silence once again. At least, it was a comfortable silence.

“Thomas, I’m sorry.”

“I’m fine. We’re fine. Everything’s fine. Don’t worry,” he said while kissing the top of her head and caressing her back

***

.....

One hour ago.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please, don’t forget me. No, I don’t like this.” Thomas only listened to her endless mumbles while she hugged him tight and continued crying. “Thomas, I still love you. Why did you have to give up so easily?”

“Who said I gave up?”

“Ha?” Monet pulled away from him and looked at him with a confused expression which turned rather a little silly-looking because of her puffy eyes, “You just severed your ties with me.”

“I’m not that Thomas Aizenberg. It was the past Thomas you know. Now, I’m Thomas who wants to get to know you again.”

“So, we’re not friends anymore?”

“Well, I don’t want us to be just friends. I want more than that. I want to be your husband, the father of your child, your best friend, your confidant – your everything; I want to be your everything.”

“But I did something horrible.”

“You did that to the past Thomas. He doesn’t exist anymore.”

“What about our memories?”

“You left me with no choice.”

Her tears started falling again and there was this look of disbelief on her face. She never wanted this to happen. She was just in denial. She didn’t want him to forget the memories they created for almost two decades.

“The baby will be in distress if you keep crying.”

“Who the hell are you?! Return Thomas to me. I don’t like you. I want my Thomas back!”

[My Thomas. How long have I been waiting for her to say this?] “He won’t be coming back. Isn’t it better this way?”

“No! It is not okay. I want him back! I promise I won’t be unreasonable. Just give him back to me. I don’t want someone who forgets everything related to me.”

“Are you sure? If you want him back, you can’t demand him to leave again. You cannot ask him to do something that would both hurt you. If you really love me, just tell me honestly.”

“I do. I really do. I still love you. So, don’t go away. Don’t pretend you don’t know me.” she pleaded that brought Thomas to give up acting.

“Alright.” Thomas pulled her up and carried her off to the nearest couch and let her sit on his lap. “It was hard for me as well. I don’t know how else I could start with you so, I thought I’ll just forget everything and start over with a clean slate which is really impossible. I just really wanted to know how you feel.”

Monet closed her eyes while listening to his heartbeat. It was the same heartbeat that she heard on the night that she took advantage of him. “I lost my mind, didn’t I?” she questioned while her tears kept falling on her face.

He wiped her tears away with his thumb as he spoke to her. “Hormones, sweetheart. Those are your hormones acting negatively.”

“My hormones are still part of me.”

“I know, but that doesn’t mean you honestly thought of leaving me, right?”

“I don’t want you to go. No.”

If it was someone else, they would have given up this fight and left already. It was so messy that you would have difficulty solving it, but not Thomas. He only wished for one thing and that was to start over again with her. He was willing to do anything to achieve it because he knew he would regret it if he gives up this battle.

Aside from that, the doctor already told him that there would be a high chance that she would deny his presence because of the trauma and fear she felt. He knew that. He knew something was wrong when she decided to leave after finding out she was pregnant instead of confronting him. Putting two and two together, he came to the conclusion that the night they had sex, it was Monet’s initiative. Who in their right mind would make the person they love suffer? Thus, he made a gamble. He gambled with her love and her honesty on the line.

“Are we just going to forget the fact that – ”

“That didn’t happen.” Thomas retorted which cut the remaining words of her sentence. “We were both drunk. Things happened and you remembered it wrong.”

“How could that be? I clearly …”

“You are mixing things up. It’s probably because of the accident and maybe you thought of doing it but that never happened.” This was something he learned online. When people believe in a lie again and again, if you keep pushing it on them, they would start to believe it was the truth. Thomas already decided that he would lie to her about this no matter what happened. It was probably a wrong move but who doesn’t lie to save someone? He will do everything to make her forget the rape incident.

“And the baby?”:

“We created him with a sound mind.”

“Did we?”

“We did,” Thomas answered firmly. “If you want, we can talk to Dr. Oliver. Cayenne knew him and she said that he’s very good in his field. He can tell you the truth.” This was also part of his plan. He knew that Monet will always be haunted by this issue and it will affect their life together. He wanted her to be happy. He wanted her to live her life to the fullest and if he needed to be the bad guy to achieve it, he will do it without any hesitation.

“I’m sleepy,” Monet whispered and buried her face in his chest. Hearing his loud heartbeat calmed her and made her feel at ease. “Don’t leave me.”

“Hm. I’ll be here.”

What else can you do for the sake of your loved ones? What is right and what is wrong when you decide things with them in mind? How far can you go to keep them at your side? As for Thomas, he will do anything, everything just to keep her for the rest of his life.